This is it. The year of 2011 is now ending. As I look back on this year, I am amazed at how far I have come. Many old things came to a close, and many new things opened up.
-I graduated high school...I started college.
-I lost a lot of old friends...I gained a lot of new friends.
-I had my first "love"...I had my first broken heart.
-I thought my family hit our lowest point...I see that we are now stronger than ever.
-I was walking through the motions...I am now walking with Christ.
It is funny how much a year can impact your life. There are some things that I remember that I wish had never happened...but as I think about it more, I find that I am truly pleased with what I have gone through. God has really protected me, and there is no better way to thank Him than to live out my thanks for Him today. I have grown, but more than anything, I have definitely matured.
God is turning me into a Woman-of-Christ. It is kind of exciting about who I am becoming. I will be the first one to tell you that I am not perfect, but God thinks I am enough. He has a plan for me and has been working since day one to accomplish it. I have found that this year has probably been my biggest leap towards moving with Christ. I think I could even go out and say that these last two months have been the most impacting for me.
If some things that happened this year had never occurred, I really do not think my walk with Christ would be as strong...or existent for that matter.
I highly doubt I would have ever started blogging if it were not for the struggles I faced in the past. When I started writing, I mainly did it for myself. I wanted to release some thoughts and blog about my journey for me to read in the future. It was a personal goal of mine to write a daily blog all through the month of December. Looking back through the month, I had no idea how much attention it got. I never had intentions to have so many readers. Over 1,000 page views later, I am now finishing my last blog for my monthly goal.
I plan to continue to blog whenever God puts something on my heart, but it will not be a daily thing. God has definitely used me as an influence to others, and I find that pretty cool.
2012 is going to be another year of challenges. God will pull me through, though. I am more than excited for what God has in store for me this next year.
If you stay true to God, He can promise you that greater things are yet to come!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
I'll Just Keep Holding On
Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try to stick with God, something always tries to pull you down? Well...that's the devil for you. Although it may seem like nothing is going right, God is providing this opportunity to test your faith and grow with Him.
I feel like that is what God is doing to me now. I cannot believe that I have been writing these for a whole month now. Through this month, it has been an up and down roller coaster with my walk with Christ. Although there have been more ups than downs, there have been things the devil has put in my way to try and pull me away from who I am becoming.
This whole experience being home for winter break has been difficult. People I thought I trusted turned their backs on me and betrayed me. I feel so confused and hurt. Why me? Why do they choose to just pick on me? They do not even know how they are hurting me, nor do I think they care.
It stinks knowing all of this drama has occurred while I've been home. I have really been trying to not let this whole situation get me down. I have also found who my true friends are, and that has been a real blessing.
When someone is breaking me down verbally and through their actions, I find it so hard to not want to fire back at them. I realized though that the best situation is to be the bigger person, and move on. It has been difficult to do that because I am trying to be an example to God, but I just keep getting hurt.
After thinking about it, Jesus faced persecution. The devil will try and bring me down by others, but it is also a great opportunity to stand up for my beliefs and grow from it.
I am really trying to forgive the people that hurt me. When I get so worked up and upset about what they did, I now try to stop and pray for them. Do I really pray about things as much as I think about them? It has been a great way to soften my heart.
God is by my side, and He has provided so many people for support. I am really trying to handle the situation as mature as possible. If anything, the people that hurt me may eventually realize what they did and how well I handled it. Who knows though...they may never fully apologize for what they did. All I can do is forgive them and get my heart right with God.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I feel like that is what God is doing to me now. I cannot believe that I have been writing these for a whole month now. Through this month, it has been an up and down roller coaster with my walk with Christ. Although there have been more ups than downs, there have been things the devil has put in my way to try and pull me away from who I am becoming.
This whole experience being home for winter break has been difficult. People I thought I trusted turned their backs on me and betrayed me. I feel so confused and hurt. Why me? Why do they choose to just pick on me? They do not even know how they are hurting me, nor do I think they care.
It stinks knowing all of this drama has occurred while I've been home. I have really been trying to not let this whole situation get me down. I have also found who my true friends are, and that has been a real blessing.
When someone is breaking me down verbally and through their actions, I find it so hard to not want to fire back at them. I realized though that the best situation is to be the bigger person, and move on. It has been difficult to do that because I am trying to be an example to God, but I just keep getting hurt.
After thinking about it, Jesus faced persecution. The devil will try and bring me down by others, but it is also a great opportunity to stand up for my beliefs and grow from it.
I am really trying to forgive the people that hurt me. When I get so worked up and upset about what they did, I now try to stop and pray for them. Do I really pray about things as much as I think about them? It has been a great way to soften my heart.
God is by my side, and He has provided so many people for support. I am really trying to handle the situation as mature as possible. If anything, the people that hurt me may eventually realize what they did and how well I handled it. Who knows though...they may never fully apologize for what they did. All I can do is forgive them and get my heart right with God.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Thursday, December 29, 2011
I'll Stand For You
So you may find that I have definitely not hid my faith as I write these blogs. I try and be as honest as possible about my walk with Christ. I may be so open and true about my walk with Christ on here, but am I really like this in person? Can people automatically see Christ shining in me or do they just see a very nice/friendly person?
It is very easy to just write about this on here. I mean, no one can see me, and I feel like I am not judged...but when an opportunity arises for me to witness to someone in person that I feel uncomfortable with, I back off. Well...I can tell you that I am not the only one I guess who feels this way.
I attend a Christian university, so generally almost everyone has a relationship with Christ. When I go back into the real world, I get uncomfortable when not everyone believes what I do.
Most Christians struggle with this issue. God tells us to witness to the world and stand up for Him, but we freak out that we are being judged. What I have learned through past experiences is that I may be worried that someone judged me for who I am, but I do know that they gained a new respect for me. They respected that I was willing to stand up for my beliefs. After knowing this, why do I still struggle with being so open with my faith to others?
So Lord,
I pray that today I can make a stand for you. I want to be proud of who I am serving. As I finish off this week, I pray that I can fully be a missionary to others. You are the reason I am here today. Use every bit of me to further your kingdom.
It is very easy to just write about this on here. I mean, no one can see me, and I feel like I am not judged...but when an opportunity arises for me to witness to someone in person that I feel uncomfortable with, I back off. Well...I can tell you that I am not the only one I guess who feels this way.
I attend a Christian university, so generally almost everyone has a relationship with Christ. When I go back into the real world, I get uncomfortable when not everyone believes what I do.
Most Christians struggle with this issue. God tells us to witness to the world and stand up for Him, but we freak out that we are being judged. What I have learned through past experiences is that I may be worried that someone judged me for who I am, but I do know that they gained a new respect for me. They respected that I was willing to stand up for my beliefs. After knowing this, why do I still struggle with being so open with my faith to others?
So Lord,
I pray that today I can make a stand for you. I want to be proud of who I am serving. As I finish off this week, I pray that I can fully be a missionary to others. You are the reason I am here today. Use every bit of me to further your kingdom.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Gotta Have Faith
Faith.
I love that word. It is so simple, but is still what I base my entire life on. It makes you face vulnerability, insecurity...and admitting that you are helpless. You cannot do something on your own, and you are left with no choice than to have faith. Faith in what you ask? Well...I guess you can have faith in a lot of things...faith in your alarm clock waking you up in the morning...faith in the driver on the other side of the road not hitting you...faith...in God.
Faith is really everywhere. I guess I never realized how much I have it in my day-to-day life.
Last night I was reading from the book of Hebrews. I was reading about people in the Old Testament who put their faith in the Lord, and were rewarded. After reading that, it makes me wonder...am I putting all of my faith in the Lord.
Yes, I believe in God and I am trying to make it the center of my life, but am I truly believing the full potential I have to serve the Lord? God gave me gifts, and am I using them to the best of my ability? I may not be crossing the Red Sea or making the walls of Jericho come tumbling down, but I know I can surely do more than what I am doing now.
I don't get it. I put my faith in the cafeteria workers at my school that they do not poison my food because they have never poisoned it before, but when God puts something on my heart I get scared even though so much good has come from me listening and following Him before.
I may not see ahead for what God has for me, but I'm learning to accept that and trust God that He will get me there.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
-Hebrews 11:1
I love that word. It is so simple, but is still what I base my entire life on. It makes you face vulnerability, insecurity...and admitting that you are helpless. You cannot do something on your own, and you are left with no choice than to have faith. Faith in what you ask? Well...I guess you can have faith in a lot of things...faith in your alarm clock waking you up in the morning...faith in the driver on the other side of the road not hitting you...faith...in God.
Faith is really everywhere. I guess I never realized how much I have it in my day-to-day life.
Last night I was reading from the book of Hebrews. I was reading about people in the Old Testament who put their faith in the Lord, and were rewarded. After reading that, it makes me wonder...am I putting all of my faith in the Lord.
Yes, I believe in God and I am trying to make it the center of my life, but am I truly believing the full potential I have to serve the Lord? God gave me gifts, and am I using them to the best of my ability? I may not be crossing the Red Sea or making the walls of Jericho come tumbling down, but I know I can surely do more than what I am doing now.
I don't get it. I put my faith in the cafeteria workers at my school that they do not poison my food because they have never poisoned it before, but when God puts something on my heart I get scared even though so much good has come from me listening and following Him before.
I may not see ahead for what God has for me, but I'm learning to accept that and trust God that He will get me there.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
-Hebrews 11:1
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Honesty Talk
2012....
I'm ready for ya.
I cannot believe a new year is already here. Looking back at this year, I notice how much I have grown. It makes me realize that I have come a long way and have so much more room for growth.
Sometimes I think that people think my life is perfect and I have it so well with God after they read these. Well...I am definitely not perfect! Everything I write on here is honest and from the bottom of my heart. These blogs are real stories about what God is putting on my heart each day. For me, it is a daily commitment to listen to what God is telling me.
It can be so easy to go by my emotions and just complain to God about what is going wrong in my life. I guess I figured out that there's an even better way. Listening.
Like I've said many times before, I am still human. It is so easy to listen to what God is telling me, but to actually follow through is rather difficult. I don't want to be hypocritical when I write these....I mean, I need to listen to what I write too.
There are also times when I doubt how big God is. Some days I feel so lonely, and feel like God is not working in my life. There always seems to be something or someone that reminds me that God cares for me and loves me, and that gives me peace.
God's working in my life. He truly is. Being a Christian requires you to be honest with yourself and admit that your relationship with Christ is never perfect.
Take some time today to reflect on your relationship with Christ. Be honest with yourself, and with God. Doing this may give you more growth in your spiritual walk.
I'm far from what I once was, but far from what God has in store from me.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:26
I'm ready for ya.
I cannot believe a new year is already here. Looking back at this year, I notice how much I have grown. It makes me realize that I have come a long way and have so much more room for growth.
Sometimes I think that people think my life is perfect and I have it so well with God after they read these. Well...I am definitely not perfect! Everything I write on here is honest and from the bottom of my heart. These blogs are real stories about what God is putting on my heart each day. For me, it is a daily commitment to listen to what God is telling me.
It can be so easy to go by my emotions and just complain to God about what is going wrong in my life. I guess I figured out that there's an even better way. Listening.
Like I've said many times before, I am still human. It is so easy to listen to what God is telling me, but to actually follow through is rather difficult. I don't want to be hypocritical when I write these....I mean, I need to listen to what I write too.
There are also times when I doubt how big God is. Some days I feel so lonely, and feel like God is not working in my life. There always seems to be something or someone that reminds me that God cares for me and loves me, and that gives me peace.
God's working in my life. He truly is. Being a Christian requires you to be honest with yourself and admit that your relationship with Christ is never perfect.
Take some time today to reflect on your relationship with Christ. Be honest with yourself, and with God. Doing this may give you more growth in your spiritual walk.
I'm far from what I once was, but far from what God has in store from me.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:26
Monday, December 26, 2011
Today is the Day!
Wow. Christmas is already over. It truly was another amazing Christmas. Spending time with my family really made things so much special.
I feel like God has been putting it on my heart to start this new year on a fresh new note. I do not want the devil trying to bring me down through petty drama while I am at home. This is going to be my chance to resist the devil and grow closer to Christ in faith that He will be there for me.
It may be a good new year's goal, but this is something I can start today. Giving it to God can be a daily thing...and it should not have to be a goal...but rather a lifestyle commitment.
I'm just being honest...making God your lifestyle is no cake walk. There will be days where it is so easy to give praise and live for God, and there will be others where you feel like the world is caving in on you and trusting God is so hard.
It is the times when you are struggling the worst that you are able to give more faith to God. Since when is it ever easy to have a constant relationship with the Lord? I am only a freshman in college and I cannot believe where God has taken me already. With that being said...I am so thrilled for where God is going to take me on my journey and how much more room for growth I still have with Him. I will face trials in my life...fully aware of that...I know I can handle it.
You could say I'm growing guys. I am ready to start fresh this new year...but even more ready start today on a fresh new note with God.
Have a great day everyone :)
Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. - Hebrews 4:16
I feel like God has been putting it on my heart to start this new year on a fresh new note. I do not want the devil trying to bring me down through petty drama while I am at home. This is going to be my chance to resist the devil and grow closer to Christ in faith that He will be there for me.
It may be a good new year's goal, but this is something I can start today. Giving it to God can be a daily thing...and it should not have to be a goal...but rather a lifestyle commitment.
I'm just being honest...making God your lifestyle is no cake walk. There will be days where it is so easy to give praise and live for God, and there will be others where you feel like the world is caving in on you and trusting God is so hard.
It is the times when you are struggling the worst that you are able to give more faith to God. Since when is it ever easy to have a constant relationship with the Lord? I am only a freshman in college and I cannot believe where God has taken me already. With that being said...I am so thrilled for where God is going to take me on my journey and how much more room for growth I still have with Him. I will face trials in my life...fully aware of that...I know I can handle it.
You could say I'm growing guys. I am ready to start fresh this new year...but even more ready start today on a fresh new note with God.
Have a great day everyone :)
Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. - Hebrews 4:16
Sunday, December 25, 2011
He Has Arrived!
He has arrived! A Savior has been born! Rejoice! Celebrate! Do a little happy dance!
Above all...give thanks!
With it being Christmas, I am really trying to take the time to give thanks to God. I am so blessed to be celebrating the holidays with such an amazing family. The family, fellowship, and food makes me realize that I am truly lucky to have this. There are some people right now who do not have what I have....who are alone...and would do anything for their family to call them or stop by.
My stomach kind of goes in knots when I thought my Christmas was going to be ruined just because of petty relational drama in my life. Out of anything, was I seriously going to let that "destroy" my life?! I guess it's just one of those daily reminders that God gives me...it also reminds me that I'm human.
Well, I am not going to make this too long. Spend your day with the ones you love! Have a splendid day. Give thanks....and Merry Christmas :)
Above all...give thanks!
With it being Christmas, I am really trying to take the time to give thanks to God. I am so blessed to be celebrating the holidays with such an amazing family. The family, fellowship, and food makes me realize that I am truly lucky to have this. There are some people right now who do not have what I have....who are alone...and would do anything for their family to call them or stop by.
My stomach kind of goes in knots when I thought my Christmas was going to be ruined just because of petty relational drama in my life. Out of anything, was I seriously going to let that "destroy" my life?! I guess it's just one of those daily reminders that God gives me...it also reminds me that I'm human.
Well, I am not going to make this too long. Spend your day with the ones you love! Have a splendid day. Give thanks....and Merry Christmas :)
Saturday, December 24, 2011
All I Want For Christmas is You, Lord!
It's December 24th! Christmas is one day away! After looking outside, I still do not feel like tomorrow is Christmas. I guess I will just take the calendar's word for it...
It makes me think...I've been posting blogs about spreading Christ's love through the holidays, but have I personally been thinking about what Christmas is about?? I feel like I've gotten so caught up in the moment to where I have completely neglected honoring Christ and His birth.
I probably wouldn't have thought about it until I was struggling on what to write about this morning. I was waiting for God to try and give me something great to write about Christmas, but I felt like He was just trying to tell me that I need to personally take time to praise God for where I am today.
Without Jesus, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be alive. I wouldn't have a point to live. How lucky are we that God loved us so much to where He was willing to come down as man and live the life of a human?!
Man, I just think we are so blessed. Take time to thank God for giving us life. Have a great day everyone!
It makes me think...I've been posting blogs about spreading Christ's love through the holidays, but have I personally been thinking about what Christmas is about?? I feel like I've gotten so caught up in the moment to where I have completely neglected honoring Christ and His birth.
I probably wouldn't have thought about it until I was struggling on what to write about this morning. I was waiting for God to try and give me something great to write about Christmas, but I felt like He was just trying to tell me that I need to personally take time to praise God for where I am today.
Without Jesus, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be alive. I wouldn't have a point to live. How lucky are we that God loved us so much to where He was willing to come down as man and live the life of a human?!
Man, I just think we are so blessed. Take time to thank God for giving us life. Have a great day everyone!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Dashing Through the Snow...Hey Wait a Minute! Snow?!
Umm...snow? Where are you?
Looks like my dreams of having a White Christmas this year are not coming true. I guess there is still hope!
Yesterday I spoke about showing grace and God's love to others through the holidays. Today I have a new topic...joy.
Joy. A three letter word that can warm anyone's heart. Being joyful is not just about singing "If You're Happy and You Know It." Being joyful is an inner and outer expression of what God's love really is.
God sent down a son to this world so He could spread the news of how great God is. God really is great, and we should show it through joy.
It may be difficult to spread Christmas cheer around from stresses at work, being annoyed of family coming over, or lack of snow. Go to God to gain peace and show joy through your thoughts and actions.
Christmas is truly two days away! I better get to wrapping...now if only I could find the holiday music...
Looks like my dreams of having a White Christmas this year are not coming true. I guess there is still hope!
Yesterday I spoke about showing grace and God's love to others through the holidays. Today I have a new topic...joy.
Joy. A three letter word that can warm anyone's heart. Being joyful is not just about singing "If You're Happy and You Know It." Being joyful is an inner and outer expression of what God's love really is.
God sent down a son to this world so He could spread the news of how great God is. God really is great, and we should show it through joy.
It may be difficult to spread Christmas cheer around from stresses at work, being annoyed of family coming over, or lack of snow. Go to God to gain peace and show joy through your thoughts and actions.
Christmas is truly two days away! I better get to wrapping...now if only I could find the holiday music...
Thursday, December 22, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
Hey everyone! Guess what is in three days!!!! Yes, it's Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Christ! How exciting is that?! I probably should start wrapping my presents...
So anyway...I'm actually very happy that I am back home for Christmas to celebrate the holidays with my loved ones.
At this time of the year, you often find the devil trying to put struggles in people's lives. Some people feel like everyone else has it going so well for them over Christmas.
Well....I'm encouraging you to make a difference this Christmas. Reach out to others. Smile, and spread Christmas cheer. Show God's love to everyone. This is supposed to be a good time of the year. This is a time when we honor God who came down as man, and gave His life away just so we can have a chance to have eternal salvation.
Show grace to others. Jesus did not have to suffer and die for everyone...I mean...since when do we all of a sudden deserve to go to Heaven? We don't, but God showed His love to us. No, I'm not telling you to die for someone...I'm saying to show God's love to everyone...even when you feel they don't deserve it.
It's time to make a difference this Christmas.
May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. - 1 Thessalonians 3:12
So anyway...I'm actually very happy that I am back home for Christmas to celebrate the holidays with my loved ones.
At this time of the year, you often find the devil trying to put struggles in people's lives. Some people feel like everyone else has it going so well for them over Christmas.
Well....I'm encouraging you to make a difference this Christmas. Reach out to others. Smile, and spread Christmas cheer. Show God's love to everyone. This is supposed to be a good time of the year. This is a time when we honor God who came down as man, and gave His life away just so we can have a chance to have eternal salvation.
Show grace to others. Jesus did not have to suffer and die for everyone...I mean...since when do we all of a sudden deserve to go to Heaven? We don't, but God showed His love to us. No, I'm not telling you to die for someone...I'm saying to show God's love to everyone...even when you feel they don't deserve it.
It's time to make a difference this Christmas.
May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. - 1 Thessalonians 3:12
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
A Reminder of Who I Am :)
This post is to remind myself that I like me...for being me...and you should like yourself too!
I've been through a lot. So many people think my life is so easy, and nothing too horrible has gone on in my life. Well...I have suffered through many trials...but I realized that through each trial, I built character and learned more about myself.
As I think about everything that has happened in my life (good and bad)...I realized that God has really protected me. I have gotten so much stronger through each situation.
I have so much going for me. Yes, I face struggles, but I feel like God is letting me use these struggles to grow and use them as a testimony to others. I even see that the most genuine people are the most beautiful. Looking back at who I am...I like me. God likes me for being me. God says I'm good enough. I think I will stick to His word over a teenage boy...
So for you readers out there, I encourage you to accept who you are and love yourself. The many situations you face in life make you who you are. Embrace it. In troubled times thank God from how you've grown from it.
I just think God is awesome. He really is :)
So here I am world.
I'm me...and I like it.
I've been through a lot. So many people think my life is so easy, and nothing too horrible has gone on in my life. Well...I have suffered through many trials...but I realized that through each trial, I built character and learned more about myself.
As I think about everything that has happened in my life (good and bad)...I realized that God has really protected me. I have gotten so much stronger through each situation.
I have so much going for me. Yes, I face struggles, but I feel like God is letting me use these struggles to grow and use them as a testimony to others. I even see that the most genuine people are the most beautiful. Looking back at who I am...I like me. God likes me for being me. God says I'm good enough. I think I will stick to His word over a teenage boy...
So for you readers out there, I encourage you to accept who you are and love yourself. The many situations you face in life make you who you are. Embrace it. In troubled times thank God from how you've grown from it.
I just think God is awesome. He really is :)
So here I am world.
I'm me...and I like it.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
It's a New Day. I Will Follow Your Way!
This is it. A chapter of my life is closing and I am now moving on to the next.
It's kind of exciting. I cannot wait to start my next semester of college on a fresh new note.
My past is my past. I've made mistakes. I've gotten hurt. I've learned. It's now time to take what I've learned and grow from it.
Blogging has really helped me to listen to what God is saying in my life. Sometimes it is so easy to write and talk about things that God is pushing on my heart, but it can be so hard to follow through and actually take action.
To get my heart in the right place and keep myself occupied on other things, I need to find something to do that I enjoy to glorify God. Please pray that I find an opportunity over break! I know I need to get up and take the initiative to do something instead of assuming that God is going to easily feed something to me.
So here I am. A few days before Christmas, and my heart is in a new place.
My heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
-Psalm 30:12
It's kind of exciting. I cannot wait to start my next semester of college on a fresh new note.
My past is my past. I've made mistakes. I've gotten hurt. I've learned. It's now time to take what I've learned and grow from it.
Blogging has really helped me to listen to what God is saying in my life. Sometimes it is so easy to write and talk about things that God is pushing on my heart, but it can be so hard to follow through and actually take action.
To get my heart in the right place and keep myself occupied on other things, I need to find something to do that I enjoy to glorify God. Please pray that I find an opportunity over break! I know I need to get up and take the initiative to do something instead of assuming that God is going to easily feed something to me.
So here I am. A few days before Christmas, and my heart is in a new place.
My heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
-Psalm 30:12
Monday, December 19, 2011
I'm Trying, God. I Really Am.
So last night was very emotional. You see, I thought life was going so swell...God was doing amazing things...until...I found out my ex-boyfriend had cheated on me while we were dating. No, he didn't physically cheat on me. He emotionally cheated on me by liking one of my good friends while we were together.
Ok...enough with that story. Where I'm getting at is that for some reason I felt so betrayed by them. I felt so insecure about myself and felt like no one liked me. God was working behind the scenes and gave me so many people supporting me and showing their love towards me.
I guess it was a blessing in disguise. I thought my life was completely ruined until God stepped in. You see, I thought I was growing so well with Christ. It was almost to the point where I was just comfortable where I was. The problem was that I had not fully let some things go from my past. I needed to move on from my ex-boyfriend. I know I deserve someone so much better and looking back at the past is not going to help me. So finding this out helped me to just throw my past behind me.
God also showed me that having this little struggle in my life proved that there is so much more room for me to grow in Christ. It's a continual process. Having a relationship with Christ is not easy.
I have grown so much and have found that I do have many great friends here for me.
I really want to yearn to have an even larger relationship with Christ. This incident last night may have felt like a set-back, but I have gained so much from it. God has it figured out. I just need to let go, and let God.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. - 2 Corinthians 4:17
Ok...enough with that story. Where I'm getting at is that for some reason I felt so betrayed by them. I felt so insecure about myself and felt like no one liked me. God was working behind the scenes and gave me so many people supporting me and showing their love towards me.
I guess it was a blessing in disguise. I thought my life was completely ruined until God stepped in. You see, I thought I was growing so well with Christ. It was almost to the point where I was just comfortable where I was. The problem was that I had not fully let some things go from my past. I needed to move on from my ex-boyfriend. I know I deserve someone so much better and looking back at the past is not going to help me. So finding this out helped me to just throw my past behind me.
God also showed me that having this little struggle in my life proved that there is so much more room for me to grow in Christ. It's a continual process. Having a relationship with Christ is not easy.
I have grown so much and have found that I do have many great friends here for me.
I really want to yearn to have an even larger relationship with Christ. This incident last night may have felt like a set-back, but I have gained so much from it. God has it figured out. I just need to let go, and let God.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. - 2 Corinthians 4:17
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Create In Me a Clean Heart
So I am starting to think that being home from break has been difficult to grow closer to God. My normal schedule and routine is completely new, and I'm starting to feel more lonely.
I don't know. It goes in phases. I guess that happens in a Christian's life.
Blogging really helps me to have a set time during the day to focus on what God is telling me.
This morning I was on a car ride heading back home from having a family Christmas. It was a great time to just talk to God.
You see, I'm currently facing problems with memories of times I have faced temptation...and let it get the best of me. I really just need to go to God to clear my thoughts and start new.
My heart with others has been bitter. People that have hurt me and continue to hurt me seem to be leaving me with hateful thoughts. I want to forgive them, I really do. It is just so hard right now.
So anyway....while I was in the car, I decided that it would be a great time to just give it to God. I asked God, "What can I do today to glorify you?" When I spend my time honoring the Lord, my heart softens and I really do feel better.
So today I decided that every morning I am going to say a prayer to God asking Him what I can do to serve Him.
I will keep you updated on how my week goes.
I don't know. It goes in phases. I guess that happens in a Christian's life.
Blogging really helps me to have a set time during the day to focus on what God is telling me.
This morning I was on a car ride heading back home from having a family Christmas. It was a great time to just talk to God.
You see, I'm currently facing problems with memories of times I have faced temptation...and let it get the best of me. I really just need to go to God to clear my thoughts and start new.
My heart with others has been bitter. People that have hurt me and continue to hurt me seem to be leaving me with hateful thoughts. I want to forgive them, I really do. It is just so hard right now.
So anyway....while I was in the car, I decided that it would be a great time to just give it to God. I asked God, "What can I do today to glorify you?" When I spend my time honoring the Lord, my heart softens and I really do feel better.
So today I decided that every morning I am going to say a prayer to God asking Him what I can do to serve Him.
I will keep you updated on how my week goes.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
I'm Human
So yesterday was an interesting day. I just started getting so emotional...makes sense…I’m a woman.
I just felt so lonely. This has been a rough year with relationships for me. The relationship between my parents is just now getting better after being so bitter for months. The relationship with my ex-boyfriend/best friend is non-existent. The relationships between people who I thought were my friends have ended in me getting hurt.
Yes, I know I have God and there are people out there that care for me... Sometimes it is so easy to tell someone else that rather than having to tell it to yourself.
So yes, it was a rough day yesterday. I just had to pray to God for reassurance that I have Him.
What He reminded me was that if I am faithful to Him, I will be rewarded. He has a plan for me. I may experience days of feeling like I have no one, but I do know that if I trust God and live my life to glorify Him, He will provide.
Now I didn’t write this for people to feel sorry for me. I wrote this so people know that I understand. Some people think that everyone loves me and is friends with me, but in reality, I don’t feel that way. I often just feel used and sometimes feel like I really don’t have any good friends I could say anything to.
You see…I’m normal. I’m not perfect. I don’t want people to think that I am perfect. Loneliness is a problem I face daily. It is often a struggle for me to trust God in times when I just feel so alone.
For everyone out there facing the same problem as me, I want you to know that you are not alone. God is by your side.
Sometimes I feel like I just need a hug so bad and have no one to give me one. I just remind myself that God is holding me. He loves us more than we can fathom.
I am going to wrap this up with a song that has always spoken to me when I just need reassurance that I have Him. Enjoy.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Shining in Him
I am different from what I once was.
I feel like a completely new person.
I am made alive in Christ.
Before, it was very easy to go through the motions in my Christian walk. I could act Christ-like and say Christ-like things, but I was missing something. My heart in Christ.
Sure, I had God in my life....but I didn't have Him in my whole life.
Well don't get me wrong...I took Him to church with me every Sunday....If I ever needed a prayer for something I could always go to Him...I always tried to throw out a "good Christian" Facebook status...Oh! I also tried to pull out the whole "Jesus" thing when someone came to me for advice. That was good enough, right?
Nope.
That my friends was not a true relationship with Christ. I wasn't really growing at all. Isn't a true relationship with someone a constant yearning to want to get to know each other more. That's what my relationship with Christ was lacking.
I want to be different now.
I am sick of the old me.
I want people to notice a change in me.
As people see me now, I want them to notice a change. I may act like my old self, but my heart is in a different place. I only hope people can notice that.
God is really moving in my life. When I smile now, I smile because God has filled my heart. I constantly want to show God's love to everyone.
Now that I'm different...
I feel...truly amazing.
I no longer feel fake.
I am shining in Him
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I'm Baaaaack
Well...I'm back home now! Feels great! Three and a half weeks of enjoying my winter break before starting up a new semester of school. What I realized yesterday was that I am a completely different person from what I was three and a half weeks ago when I was last home. It's a good change because I am back to being me.
Joy has just filled my heart and I love it. God has been good.
I will be honest, going back home was kind of depressing for me. I don't have that many close friends back at home, so I'm starting to think I may be a loner for the most of my break. It makes me wonder if God is making me realize what other things I am forgetting that I could do....for Him.
Yes, I will be working, but what else? What else is God putting on my heart for me to work on while I am back? Last night I had the amazing opportunity to come back to my church's junior high youth group to help. Sure the junior high students may be crazy or....emo...BUT I have a heart for each one of them. I just want to put my heart into them and let them know that they are loved. Being back at church made me so happy in that I could show God's love in His own house.
Another thing I feel that God is putting on my heart is mending relationships with others who have broken off in the past. You see, everyone needs love. Even if I have been hurt by people in the past, I know that they may need my love the most. Besides, I know I have hurt people in the past and God is giving me a perfect opportunity to make an impact by showing His love to everyone.
I just want to make a difference this Christmas break. I just want to show my faith in the Lord.
This will be a great winter break. I'm ready Knox County :)
Joy has just filled my heart and I love it. God has been good.
I will be honest, going back home was kind of depressing for me. I don't have that many close friends back at home, so I'm starting to think I may be a loner for the most of my break. It makes me wonder if God is making me realize what other things I am forgetting that I could do....for Him.
Yes, I will be working, but what else? What else is God putting on my heart for me to work on while I am back? Last night I had the amazing opportunity to come back to my church's junior high youth group to help. Sure the junior high students may be crazy or....emo...BUT I have a heart for each one of them. I just want to put my heart into them and let them know that they are loved. Being back at church made me so happy in that I could show God's love in His own house.
Another thing I feel that God is putting on my heart is mending relationships with others who have broken off in the past. You see, everyone needs love. Even if I have been hurt by people in the past, I know that they may need my love the most. Besides, I know I have hurt people in the past and God is giving me a perfect opportunity to make an impact by showing His love to everyone.
I just want to make a difference this Christmas break. I just want to show my faith in the Lord.
This will be a great winter break. I'm ready Knox County :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
1st Semester of College....Check.
Whew. By noon today I can officially say that I have completed my first semester of college. I can't believe it is already over. It seems like just yesterday that I was moving in.
Finishing up this semester really makes me want to thank God for where He has placed me and how he knew all along that I would end up here.
It was in 7th grade when I first heard about Olivet Nazarene University. My English teacher had a friend (who just so happened to go to my church) that was attending Olivet. I loved the name of the school...it sounded so...prestigious. Ok, I was a 7th grader...I had awhile before I went off to college. I really did not want to think about what school I wanted to go to.
Two years later the name "Olivet" came back into my life when I found out my cousin and another girl from my church were accepted there. It sounded like a cool school, but yet again...I did not want to think about college.
Another two years into high school and I was starting my junior year. My friend invited me to go stay at Olivet with her sister who was attending there at the time. Of course I wanted to go. College was coming up closer than I thought and I really hadn't started looking anywhere.
Well...I arrived on campus with my friend and fell in love. It was beautiful. It was a home away from home. It was me. It was college.
Later that spring I decided to take an official visit to the school. I never really had an idea of what I wanted to major in. After researching their possible majors, I noticed a major called "Corporate Communication." It sounded cool, so I decided to find out more about it on my visit. Turns out, I loved that major. It was going to be perfect for me. Now all I had to do is apply!
Well...two years later and I am where I am today...Corporate Comm major and all. You see, people ask me what I plan to do with my major. Well, there are so many avenues I could go down with my major. I have no clue what I want to do yet, BUT I do know that God provided this major because he knew it was perfect for me. I am the perfect type of person for this major.
I have no idea what is in store for me in the future. I do know that God will provide. Look where I have gotten. He has blessed me, and I believe He will continue to bless me if I follow in His footsteps with true faith.
Today I encourage you to thank God for where He has put you in your life. You may be experiencing a rough part of your life, but it may only be a blessing in disguise.
For the rest of the college students out there still dealing with finals, I encourage you to not stress. You are so blessed to be where you are. Have an amazing day everyone...I'm heading home!
Finishing up this semester really makes me want to thank God for where He has placed me and how he knew all along that I would end up here.
It was in 7th grade when I first heard about Olivet Nazarene University. My English teacher had a friend (who just so happened to go to my church) that was attending Olivet. I loved the name of the school...it sounded so...prestigious. Ok, I was a 7th grader...I had awhile before I went off to college. I really did not want to think about what school I wanted to go to.
Two years later the name "Olivet" came back into my life when I found out my cousin and another girl from my church were accepted there. It sounded like a cool school, but yet again...I did not want to think about college.
Another two years into high school and I was starting my junior year. My friend invited me to go stay at Olivet with her sister who was attending there at the time. Of course I wanted to go. College was coming up closer than I thought and I really hadn't started looking anywhere.
Well...I arrived on campus with my friend and fell in love. It was beautiful. It was a home away from home. It was me. It was college.
Later that spring I decided to take an official visit to the school. I never really had an idea of what I wanted to major in. After researching their possible majors, I noticed a major called "Corporate Communication." It sounded cool, so I decided to find out more about it on my visit. Turns out, I loved that major. It was going to be perfect for me. Now all I had to do is apply!
Well...two years later and I am where I am today...Corporate Comm major and all. You see, people ask me what I plan to do with my major. Well, there are so many avenues I could go down with my major. I have no clue what I want to do yet, BUT I do know that God provided this major because he knew it was perfect for me. I am the perfect type of person for this major.
I have no idea what is in store for me in the future. I do know that God will provide. Look where I have gotten. He has blessed me, and I believe He will continue to bless me if I follow in His footsteps with true faith.
Today I encourage you to thank God for where He has put you in your life. You may be experiencing a rough part of your life, but it may only be a blessing in disguise.
For the rest of the college students out there still dealing with finals, I encourage you to not stress. You are so blessed to be where you are. Have an amazing day everyone...I'm heading home!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Light the Way and I'll Go
This past month has probably been the largest amount of time I have found immense spiritual growth in me. It is so easy to get on a spiritual "high" right after you come back from a retreat or a camp, but for once in my life, I pushed myself to grow with Christ. I didn't have anyone throwing amazing sermons or verses at my face to get me on fire for God. This time it was my own personal commitment.
A little over a month ago I was struggling with major depression issues. Insomnia was getting the best of me. I refused to eat because if I did, I would physically get sick from the knots in my stomach...causing me to lose 10 pounds. My relationship with my boyfriend was a complete mess. I was losing friends. I felt like no one wanted to listen to me or didn't have time to listen to me when I just needed someone to talk.
You may be surprised. I mean, aren't I always so chipper in public? Inside I was hurting. I guess I reached a point so low in my life to where the only person I could go to was God.
I knew I needed to completely start new. I started going to Barnes and Noble once or twice a week buying a book or two. Reading really helped to get me out of my depression. I would mainly buy books on rebuilding my relationship with Christ. Sadly, I was reading a book a day and was running out of money to keep getting books.
Reading my Bible was a thing I have always tried to do everyday. I decided to change my habitual reading into true worship with God. I now have a set time and place where I spend my moments reading God's word.
God was really working with me to get me to be radiant in Him again (He still is too!)
One night I was trying to go to sleep when a little thought crossed my mind...
You see...I have always enjoyed writing. It's so fun putting my thoughts and personality on paper, but blogging?? Nahhh...I could not be a blogger...
I felt like God was putting an opportunity right in front of my face to use my skills to glorify Him. Now it was kind of a scary thought at first. I mean, if I write a really good one, then people will be expecting that from all of them....or what if I run out of topics to talk about?
Ye of little faith.
I have realized that God has really been using me. When I get multiple messages on Facebook or comments at school that people have really been encouraged by my blogs, I really feel good. I feel like God is helping me to grow in my faith by spending time daily writing a blog about what God is putting on my mind, and I feel like He is helping others to grow from the words He has given me.
This has been an amazing experience going on this journey with Christ. He has it planned out where to lead me. I just need to follow.
A little over a month ago I was struggling with major depression issues. Insomnia was getting the best of me. I refused to eat because if I did, I would physically get sick from the knots in my stomach...causing me to lose 10 pounds. My relationship with my boyfriend was a complete mess. I was losing friends. I felt like no one wanted to listen to me or didn't have time to listen to me when I just needed someone to talk.
You may be surprised. I mean, aren't I always so chipper in public? Inside I was hurting. I guess I reached a point so low in my life to where the only person I could go to was God.
I knew I needed to completely start new. I started going to Barnes and Noble once or twice a week buying a book or two. Reading really helped to get me out of my depression. I would mainly buy books on rebuilding my relationship with Christ. Sadly, I was reading a book a day and was running out of money to keep getting books.
Reading my Bible was a thing I have always tried to do everyday. I decided to change my habitual reading into true worship with God. I now have a set time and place where I spend my moments reading God's word.
God was really working with me to get me to be radiant in Him again (He still is too!)
One night I was trying to go to sleep when a little thought crossed my mind...
You see...I have always enjoyed writing. It's so fun putting my thoughts and personality on paper, but blogging?? Nahhh...I could not be a blogger...
I felt like God was putting an opportunity right in front of my face to use my skills to glorify Him. Now it was kind of a scary thought at first. I mean, if I write a really good one, then people will be expecting that from all of them....or what if I run out of topics to talk about?
Ye of little faith.
I have realized that God has really been using me. When I get multiple messages on Facebook or comments at school that people have really been encouraged by my blogs, I really feel good. I feel like God is helping me to grow in my faith by spending time daily writing a blog about what God is putting on my mind, and I feel like He is helping others to grow from the words He has given me.
This has been an amazing experience going on this journey with Christ. He has it planned out where to lead me. I just need to follow.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Dear Mom
Dear Mom,
Words cannot begin to describe how much I appreciate you. I know I may not show much respect at times, but I really do love you. This blog post is just for you!
You were the first person in my life to:
Kiss my forehead
Stay up all night with me while I was crying
Tuck me in at night
Hold my hand
Tell me I am beautiful
I am so thankful to have you because:
There is not another single person in this world that I could tell anything to without them judging me.
Some girls are not as fortunate enough to have an active mom in their life.
You are such a great example on how to be strong when it is so easy to be weak.
I would never have known what the word "clean" meant as I went into college.
Dad would not make a good mother.
What I love about you is:
That you are not perfect.
Your little clappy dance that I inherited.
That you pray for me and encourage me everyday.
That you tell me you love me.
That no matter what nasty thing I say to you, you still put up with me and show me even more love.
What you've taught me that I will never forget:
My name, address, and phone number
Girls are insecure and should not put me down
Everyone makes mistakes, but it allows a chance for growth
Boys will break my heart
No matter what, I can always go to you for someone to listen
You have made an impact in my life more than you will ever know. I thank God everyday about how blessed I am to have you as my mother. I can only hope I can be as great of mother someday. Just don't spoil my kids...too much.
Love you!
-Ashley
Words cannot begin to describe how much I appreciate you. I know I may not show much respect at times, but I really do love you. This blog post is just for you!
You were the first person in my life to:
Kiss my forehead
Stay up all night with me while I was crying
Tuck me in at night
Hold my hand
Tell me I am beautiful
I am so thankful to have you because:
There is not another single person in this world that I could tell anything to without them judging me.
Some girls are not as fortunate enough to have an active mom in their life.
You are such a great example on how to be strong when it is so easy to be weak.
I would never have known what the word "clean" meant as I went into college.
Dad would not make a good mother.
What I love about you is:
That you are not perfect.
Your little clappy dance that I inherited.
That you pray for me and encourage me everyday.
That you tell me you love me.
That no matter what nasty thing I say to you, you still put up with me and show me even more love.
What you've taught me that I will never forget:
My name, address, and phone number
Girls are insecure and should not put me down
Everyone makes mistakes, but it allows a chance for growth
Boys will break my heart
No matter what, I can always go to you for someone to listen
You have made an impact in my life more than you will ever know. I thank God everyday about how blessed I am to have you as my mother. I can only hope I can be as great of mother someday. Just don't spoil my kids...too much.
Love you!
-Ashley
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Be Creative!
This last week we were wrapping up a lot of material before finals in my classes. The other day, my Fine Arts teacher spoke about something that I enjoyed hearing. He spoke about being creative.
You see, God made us in His own image. If you open your eyes, (I'm assuming they are open right now) you will see how creative God is. Look at all of the beautiful things he has created!
If we are made in His own image, then we should be showing our creativity. There are so many things you can do to show God's creativity through you. It may be through music, through ideas you found off of Pinterest, or even writing a blog...It's all showing your creativity. Don't think that you are not creative at all. Even singing a song in the shower can be...creative.
Me: This week I urge you to use your creative side as an act of worship to God.
You: Say whaaaa?!?!
Me: Yeah, use your skills to glorify God. He is the Father of Creation.
He makes beautiful things out of us.
You see, God made us in His own image. If you open your eyes, (I'm assuming they are open right now) you will see how creative God is. Look at all of the beautiful things he has created!
If we are made in His own image, then we should be showing our creativity. There are so many things you can do to show God's creativity through you. It may be through music, through ideas you found off of Pinterest, or even writing a blog...It's all showing your creativity. Don't think that you are not creative at all. Even singing a song in the shower can be...creative.
Me: This week I urge you to use your creative side as an act of worship to God.
You: Say whaaaa?!?!
Me: Yeah, use your skills to glorify God. He is the Father of Creation.
He makes beautiful things out of us.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Set-Apart Princesses....Men's turn.
Yesterday I had a response from my friend, Jonathan about my "Set-Apart Princesses" blogs. He was wanting to give a guy's perspective on some of the issues. It is so great to hear from a man's point-of-view. Below, I have what Jonathan wrote, and a little bit of what I responded to it at the end. Thank you all! Please enjoy!Jonathan: "I definitely agree with your statement about modest being hottest. Being completely honest, I most likely will “notice” someone who dresses to attract, but, at the same time, I instantly write them off as a possibility for me to consider. So I wind up just trying to keep my distance because I know that my “flesh” will try to confuse my emotions, so… unbeneficial. That may sound really judgemental – and is --, but it’s just what I naturally do.
I have personally noticed, and you may have too, that it seems every time someone starts becoming good friends with someone of the opposite sex, they always start asking themselves and God, “Is this the one?” I, myself, am really trying hard to learn not to do this, because it’s not the time to even ask God yet. I don’t know them really yet. This is really a sad tragedy I’ve decided, because this immediately ruins every relationship. We are looking now for something for US in SOMEONE ELSE.
Even Christians, for some reason, have deficiencies in their lives in areas that don’t need to be deficient. Some people feel a lack for physical affection. I would say that MOST people have a need for affirmation that they really are loved. When people don’t spend time just letting Daddy in heaven affirm them, they need it from other people. They are like a vacuum. The slightest hint of attention and they attach themselves to that person. It is unhealthy and it benefits no one.
Because society is so comfortable with this situation, and in many ways exalt it and feed it, Christians have adopted it in as a fact of life; something glorious and good really! “You have a lack that someone else can fill, and someone else has a lack that you can fill! Yippee!” And it’s SIMPLY STUPID.
I used to have a real deficiency of attention and affirmation, and I had a friend (a girl) who has a need to feel like she is caring for someone. So naturally, she gravitated toward the needy, while I gravitated toward the fulfiller of MY need. We both superficially filled each others “needs”, and though we would have called what we had “loving eachother,” we didn’t. It was selfish. We were USING eachother to fill our needs.
Because we didn’t do anything the church would consider “bad,” most people wouldn’t have used the word “USE” to describe what we were doing to eachother, but now that I’ve learned what I’ve learned, and can look back several years on it, it’s pretty obvious that that’s exactly what we were doing.
I think the key to becoming Christ-like in our marriages begins with becoming Christ-like in EVERY friendship. If we don’t look out for all people, why would we think that we will for some reason look out for this ONE person? From the other side, if someone doesn’t REALLY love all people, what would make you think they will really love you for more than selfish reasons? If they only REALLY look out for YOU, than their love is not love because it is selfish. It’s only for you! Why? Because they want to marry you (Best case scenario)! The question is, “If they are only treating me with this much care, what happens when their ‘desire’ and ‘emotions’ subside? Will they treat me like everyone else?” YES!
In the end, friendship is friendship. Guy or girl! If a guy’s friendships with other guys are deep, good, and real, than his relationship with you will be too. If his friendships with other guys are stupid, shallow, and lacking in love, chances are your relationship with him will be the same.
That may sound funny to you saying it that way; talking about “love” in his guy relationships. But the truth is, you will be able to tell better by his guy friends than his girl friends, because his relationships with guy friends are not muddled with stupid emotions and physical attraction/chemical reaction. (hopefully:)) Therefore, equalling, “Way more legit judgement of the REAL nature of a guy.”
Look for whether or not he looks out for his guy friends. Whether he thinks about how he can be more loving to his guy friends. If he goes out of his way and bends over backwards for his guy friends, he will probably do the same and more for you. THAT is where you’ll find a good guy.
Next thought… I strongly agree in the area of not giving yourself over to someone easily and just falling for people because they show you attention. On the other hand though, I disagree with the idea of playing hard to get or making someone work to get you. It may make you feel good that someone worked really hard for you, but if you think about it, you’re making someone fill your need to feel loved and wanted by doing that. I really think that honesty is the best policy. You need to be on the same level. If they are crazy about you and you’re not about them, you should tell them. Everyone should be brought down to level of whoever is more unsure. If someone’s unsure, there’s probably a good reason and it’s not fair for the other person not to know. Because hiding the truth to protect someone is not loving to them.
The idea with having your parents involved is a VERY good one. In my situation, because my parents live in Missouri, and I live in England right now (soon to be Germany), and when I live in America, I live in Galesburg, I personally will probably not involve my parents from the first step, but… they will definitely be involved before I would really start making plans to marry someone."
My Response: I was going to have a long thought out response to this, but I thought it was best to just write a little bit about it. There were a few things I never necessarily thought about that Jonathan mentioned. The one thing that really got to me was creating Christ-like relationships in any type of relationship. You will know he is a great guy by how he treats others. You should also see how he treats his guy friends. I think another thing you should look for is how he treats his mom. Does he respect her? If he doesn't respect one of the most important women in his life, then he will probably not respect you. When he mentioned about being hard to get, I want to stress that you should give a little hint if you do like a guy. Men are already confused enough at our girl species. (Hey, I don't even understand us sometimes.) Again, it is just so nice to hear a guy's point-of-view. It's also a relief that there actually guys out there who agree with these statements. I would love to receive more comments from any gender about this topic. Below I have a video of the Proverbs 31 Movement. You should really watch it!
Friday, December 9, 2011
My Best Friend
I'll admit it. Sometimes I feel very alone. Sometimes I feel like no one understands. Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to.
I know...I'm not the only one who feels this way. I also know that all of that is not true. It's just something that I often face. There really isn't one person in my life right now that I could tell just about anything to...well...so I thought...
There is actually one friend I do have that I so often forget about as being my friend. Yeah...you know it....that guy. God.
So you may be saying to yourself, "How can He be a friend? You can't even see Him? He has no idea what you are even going through." Well...actually...He probably understands more than anyone else.
You see, God loved us so much, that He was willing to send down His son, Jesus. He went through the life of being a human just like everyone else did. I never really thought about this as much until they mentioned it in chapel yesterday.
Jesus grew up human just like everyone else did. (I really hope that no zombies or aliens are reading this right now...or Edward Cullen.)
I can't say I was around when Jesus was, but he probably dealt with the same things as we did when growing up. He might've had a zit or two. He probably had neighbor friends. He probably cried when he got his first boo-boo. He was picked on. I really doubt he had a Facebook though...
Anyways...what I'm getting at is that God understands. He has experienced the pain. He has experienced the tears. He understands...and He loves us. I feel so at peace with that.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for all you have done for me. It is so nice that I can go to you whenever. Please help me to realize this more often. I know that I do not deserve your love, but you give it anyway. As I go home a week from today, I pray that I can show others that you are there when we need it the most. Use me to spread your love. Everyone needs it.
-Ashley
I know...I'm not the only one who feels this way. I also know that all of that is not true. It's just something that I often face. There really isn't one person in my life right now that I could tell just about anything to...well...so I thought...
There is actually one friend I do have that I so often forget about as being my friend. Yeah...you know it....that guy. God.
So you may be saying to yourself, "How can He be a friend? You can't even see Him? He has no idea what you are even going through." Well...actually...He probably understands more than anyone else.
You see, God loved us so much, that He was willing to send down His son, Jesus. He went through the life of being a human just like everyone else did. I never really thought about this as much until they mentioned it in chapel yesterday.
Jesus grew up human just like everyone else did. (I really hope that no zombies or aliens are reading this right now...or Edward Cullen.)
I can't say I was around when Jesus was, but he probably dealt with the same things as we did when growing up. He might've had a zit or two. He probably had neighbor friends. He probably cried when he got his first boo-boo. He was picked on. I really doubt he had a Facebook though...
Anyways...what I'm getting at is that God understands. He has experienced the pain. He has experienced the tears. He understands...and He loves us. I feel so at peace with that.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for all you have done for me. It is so nice that I can go to you whenever. Please help me to realize this more often. I know that I do not deserve your love, but you give it anyway. As I go home a week from today, I pray that I can show others that you are there when we need it the most. Use me to spread your love. Everyone needs it.
-Ashley
Thursday, December 8, 2011
*Insert Creative Title That I Had Yet to Come Up With*
This next week will be a very busy week for me. From today until next Friday, I am going to have at least one test every class day. This weekend I also have a Christmas concert to attend. Crunch time is in full swing. It's funny, for some reason writing a daily blog sounds so much more appealing right now than writing last minute papers or studying for final tests....
"What I Live For" -Luminate
This is the moment, this is the new year
This is my life now, this me waking up
Cause I was sleeping, just barely breathing
Until you found me, until you picked me up
And game me something to believe in
Your love is everything I've ever needed
You're what I live for
When my hope is shattered
You're what I live for
When everything is closing in on me
You're what I live for
Used to be empty, I was a cynic
Drank in the darkness
This is me giving up all of my history, all of the old me
Because you changed me
Because you filled me up, and gave me something I could call my own
Your love is everything you are my home
You're what I live for
When my hope is shattered
You're what I live for
When everything is closing in on me
You're what I live for
You're what I live for
The only thing
The only thing worth living for
Be my everything, oh
Now don't get mad at me, Mom! I am making time for my studies as well!
I guess what has been on my mind lately is how apathetic and burned out I am about classes. They just sound so...not worth my time and too stressful. Just sayin'...
Hey, and don't go on assuming I am the only one feeling this way. You could ask just about any other college student winding down their semester, and they would say the same thing. Sad...I know.
It makes me wonder, God gave me the amazing opportunity to come to this school...why am I not giving it my full effort as I finish up my first semester? I mean, God obviously had big plans for me as I moved in that first day. Shouldn't I be showing my thanks to Him everyday as I attend class and do my work without complaining? I really am very blessed to be where I am at now. I love it here....I should show it.
Alas. Humility has sunk in. A little over a week of class left. I can do it.
To the other worn out college students out there: We can do it.
"What I Live For" -Luminate
This is the moment, this is the new year
This is my life now, this me waking up
Cause I was sleeping, just barely breathing
Until you found me, until you picked me up
And game me something to believe in
Your love is everything I've ever needed
You're what I live for
When my hope is shattered
You're what I live for
When everything is closing in on me
You're what I live for
Used to be empty, I was a cynic
Drank in the darkness
This is me giving up all of my history, all of the old me
Because you changed me
Because you filled me up, and gave me something I could call my own
Your love is everything you are my home
You're what I live for
When my hope is shattered
You're what I live for
When everything is closing in on me
You're what I live for
You're what I live for
Yeah, You're what I live for
When everything is closing in on me
Yeah, You're what I live for, yeah
Yeah, You're what I live for, yeah
The only thing
The only thing worth living for
Be my everything, oh
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
'Tis the Season to be Jolly...Right?
Wow. It has already been one week since I started this. When I decided to do this, I had no idea that I would have over 450 page views within the first week. God has really been working in me. It feels good to know that I am using a gift that God has given me. This experience has also allowed me to get closer to Him because I now spend a lot of my time listening to what God is telling me throughout the day. My goal is to have a daily post throughout the month of December. You would think that the task would be difficult, but I am finding that there are so many things that God teaches me daily. I also can't wait to look back on these in the future.
So anyway...
As the holidays have been approaching, I have been noticing that a lot of people have been struggling. Some are facing problems with life, while some are struggling with spiritual warfare. The devil finds this time of the year to be a great opportunity to cause trials in people's lives.
I hear about stories of trials that people are facing back at home. I see posts on Facebook about people having a rough time. I look around school and I mainly see a bunch of spiritually dry students wanting to leave for break. It has been so hard within the last few days to be full of joy when everyone else is having such a rough time.
I want to be excited for Christmas. It truly is the best time of the year, but everything has just made me depressed.
This is a short post, but I just want to remind everyone to pray for others who are struggling this month. Some may feel like they have no one supporting and loving them. I know I am in need of a hug.
Spread the Christmas cheer around. We should be excited. We are celebrating the birth of Christ! Whatever may be pulling you down this Christmas, just thank God for everything else He has blessed you with.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7
So anyway...
As the holidays have been approaching, I have been noticing that a lot of people have been struggling. Some are facing problems with life, while some are struggling with spiritual warfare. The devil finds this time of the year to be a great opportunity to cause trials in people's lives.
I hear about stories of trials that people are facing back at home. I see posts on Facebook about people having a rough time. I look around school and I mainly see a bunch of spiritually dry students wanting to leave for break. It has been so hard within the last few days to be full of joy when everyone else is having such a rough time.
I want to be excited for Christmas. It truly is the best time of the year, but everything has just made me depressed.
This is a short post, but I just want to remind everyone to pray for others who are struggling this month. Some may feel like they have no one supporting and loving them. I know I am in need of a hug.
Spread the Christmas cheer around. We should be excited. We are celebrating the birth of Christ! Whatever may be pulling you down this Christmas, just thank God for everything else He has blessed you with.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Set-Apart Princesses Part 3
Ahh...the final part. This ended up being a lot longer than I had originally thought it would be. Oh well...here it goes!
Through personal experience, I know that it is very easy to make a boy you like an idol. I've experienced times where my only thoughts have been on a boy, and completely took my thoughts away from Christ. If you take a hold of the problem at the beginning, you are more likely to not let it have an unhealthy hold on you. It is not a bad thing to...well...admire God's wonderful male creations, but if it is taking a hold of your life, you need to go to God. First go to Him in prayer. Bring up your struggles and tell God that you want Him to be the center of your life.
If you are interested in a guy, I would not act too differently when around him. Just be yourself. If God wants a relationship to occur, He will make it. Psalm 37:4 says "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Ok, I feel like I am skipping around, but there are a few things I want to mention before I finish this.
Purity.
Giving your body to another man is against God's wishes. You can argue what "sex" refers to, but it is all something that should be done within a marriage. Your body is considered holy.
If you have already given part of yourself to someone, don't go on saying, "well, I've already lost my virginity, might as well keep doing it." God offers forgiveness. I will be the first to tell you that. You may have lost your innocence, but with God, you can gain your purity. Right now is a great time to start new.
When you do things with your boyfriend now, you are doing things with someone who is not your husband.
In a book I just finished reading, the author, Leslie Ludy talks about her relationship with her husband before they were married. They never asked the question "how far is too far?" Instead, they asked "how far can we possibly go to honor Him in this area of our lives?" How cool is that?! I think when you make a relationship centered around God, and when the time comes for marriage, God will bless you for your faith and patience. I can only hope that I can experience that someday.
Hey, and when you save things for your future husband for marriage, think how exciting it will be for the both of you. It will enter a whole new world of surprises and discoveries. It will show your true love to one another if you wait.
Yes, I can easily say this now on how easy it is to remain sexually pure, but in reality, it is very hard. When the opportunity arises, certain ideas pop into your mind on how harmless it is. If you are in a situation like this right now, it may be a good time to take a step back from the relationship and set your heart on God.
God really is the true author of love. He is writing our fairytale. We are the princesses and our princes are out there....somewhere...and if we remain in Christ, he will give us the best that we could ever imagine.
I've received A LOT of comments on how I am very mature for writing something like this. Trust me, I need to read this just as much as you do. This is just something that has been on my heart for quite sometime. I appreciate it that many have enjoyed reading this. If you need a recommendation on a good book about topics like this, feel free to message me.
Now men out there reading this....I would appreciate your comments on some of these issues. It would be great to hear from a guy's perspective. If I receive a few comments from some guys, I may post them in a blog. Thank you all!
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10
Through personal experience, I know that it is very easy to make a boy you like an idol. I've experienced times where my only thoughts have been on a boy, and completely took my thoughts away from Christ. If you take a hold of the problem at the beginning, you are more likely to not let it have an unhealthy hold on you. It is not a bad thing to...well...admire God's wonderful male creations, but if it is taking a hold of your life, you need to go to God. First go to Him in prayer. Bring up your struggles and tell God that you want Him to be the center of your life.
If you are interested in a guy, I would not act too differently when around him. Just be yourself. If God wants a relationship to occur, He will make it. Psalm 37:4 says "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Ok, I feel like I am skipping around, but there are a few things I want to mention before I finish this.
Purity.
Giving your body to another man is against God's wishes. You can argue what "sex" refers to, but it is all something that should be done within a marriage. Your body is considered holy.
If you have already given part of yourself to someone, don't go on saying, "well, I've already lost my virginity, might as well keep doing it." God offers forgiveness. I will be the first to tell you that. You may have lost your innocence, but with God, you can gain your purity. Right now is a great time to start new.
When you do things with your boyfriend now, you are doing things with someone who is not your husband.
In a book I just finished reading, the author, Leslie Ludy talks about her relationship with her husband before they were married. They never asked the question "how far is too far?" Instead, they asked "how far can we possibly go to honor Him in this area of our lives?" How cool is that?! I think when you make a relationship centered around God, and when the time comes for marriage, God will bless you for your faith and patience. I can only hope that I can experience that someday.
Hey, and when you save things for your future husband for marriage, think how exciting it will be for the both of you. It will enter a whole new world of surprises and discoveries. It will show your true love to one another if you wait.
Yes, I can easily say this now on how easy it is to remain sexually pure, but in reality, it is very hard. When the opportunity arises, certain ideas pop into your mind on how harmless it is. If you are in a situation like this right now, it may be a good time to take a step back from the relationship and set your heart on God.
God really is the true author of love. He is writing our fairytale. We are the princesses and our princes are out there....somewhere...and if we remain in Christ, he will give us the best that we could ever imagine.
I've received A LOT of comments on how I am very mature for writing something like this. Trust me, I need to read this just as much as you do. This is just something that has been on my heart for quite sometime. I appreciate it that many have enjoyed reading this. If you need a recommendation on a good book about topics like this, feel free to message me.
Now men out there reading this....I would appreciate your comments on some of these issues. It would be great to hear from a guy's perspective. If I receive a few comments from some guys, I may post them in a blog. Thank you all!
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10
Monday, December 5, 2011
Set-Apart Princesses Part 2
Part 2. You ready?
So you are wanting to find your perfect Christ-built man? Maybe the first thing to do is examine and see if you are a Christ-built woman. There are probably just as many men looking for their Christ-built woman as there are women looking for their Christ-built man.
If we let Christ shine through us, true beauty will be seen.
Also, if we seek men below our standards, then we are not seeking complete trust in God. When you find a guy that you are considering to date, listen to what God has to say. Take time in prayer to see what he wants. If you are unsure of what God is telling you, then keep spending time in prayer. God will keep the man around if he is really the one.
Another way to see if this guy has potential is to ask others on their opinion. Sometimes people your own age may only tell you what you want to hear, so it may always be best to go to someone older for advice. Some people who I will look to in the future are my parents. God placed them on this earth to help grow me into what I am. Out of anyone, I would appreciate their opinions of a guy. If anything, parents or looked up to adults can be great prayer partners through your journey.
In today's world, I feel like a reason that men are not up to their potential is because that women are setting their standards low. If women raised the bar on how they want their men, then today's men may work harder. God will respect you in that.
Ladies, we need to quit forming wimps out of men. We need to let them win our heart. We need to let them take the initiative. With that being said, we must not throw ourselves at men to get their attention. Guys need to try harder to win us over. If we flirt over every guy, then we are taking God's idea of love too lightly.
Being a girl, I know that it is not too hard for a guy to get me to like him. Just that little bit of attention can do the trick. A lesson that I've learned is to be very careful. Putting your heart and emotions into a guy can be very painful. Giving away part of your innocence to a guy can really emotionally hurt you. You should even be careful what you say to a guy. A guy may be your boyfriend, or even just a friend, but you should always be careful on what you openly say to a guy. Pouring your emotions and thoughts can cause you to give part of your heart to him. When he leaves your life, your heart may hurt.
Guys were created to pursue....and guess what...we were created to be pursued. Oh come on, any girl has dreams of being in that fairy tale where Prince Charming comes to save the princess (you) after having searched the whole land or slaying the dragon. I'm not a guy, but I can guess that men want a girl who they must work to win her heart. They do not want a girl that is easy to get because she throws herself at him. Sure, the guy may respond at first if you throw yourself at him, but you may lose a lot of respect from him.
Your future man must honor your heart. To me, I feel like a great way to have him honor you is by going to your parents. Call me old fashion, but I would love my man to go to my father to ask for my hand in marriage. He will be honoring you by honoring your parents' wishes. It will also show that he is more serious about having you in his life. Having your parents become prayer partners and counselors will help build your relationship.
I think one problem that I have faced before is giving my entire heart to a guy at the beginning of the relationship. That left for nothing new and exciting in the relationship. I find that it would be more exciting if you slowly spent time discovering things about each other. Now, I don't even think I could really say "I love you" to a guy until he proposed to me.
Now to a more risky subject...giving yourself away to a guy who is not your husband.
The simple words "I love you" automatically raise the emotional bar for a girl. Giving yourself away sexually can completely ruin your heart. Being at a college where there is a dress code, I truly believe that modest is hottest. Before, getting the attention of a guy from how I dressed made me feel...flattered. I felt...noticed. Did I really want to be noticed in that way though? I mean guys are a lot more visual. When I thought they thought I was cute, they were thinking a lot more sexual than that. Do I want to be noticed like that?
Dressing modestly adds to the mysteriousness of women. Your body should be on reserve for your future husband. We do not want to cause men to stumble because we were showing off too much.
God wants to protect us so we are set-apart princesses.
I will finish this tomorrow :)
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. -Proverbs 4:23
In today's world, I feel like a reason that men are not up to their potential is because that women are setting their standards low. If women raised the bar on how they want their men, then today's men may work harder. God will respect you in that.
Ladies, we need to quit forming wimps out of men. We need to let them win our heart. We need to let them take the initiative. With that being said, we must not throw ourselves at men to get their attention. Guys need to try harder to win us over. If we flirt over every guy, then we are taking God's idea of love too lightly.
Being a girl, I know that it is not too hard for a guy to get me to like him. Just that little bit of attention can do the trick. A lesson that I've learned is to be very careful. Putting your heart and emotions into a guy can be very painful. Giving away part of your innocence to a guy can really emotionally hurt you. You should even be careful what you say to a guy. A guy may be your boyfriend, or even just a friend, but you should always be careful on what you openly say to a guy. Pouring your emotions and thoughts can cause you to give part of your heart to him. When he leaves your life, your heart may hurt.
Guys were created to pursue....and guess what...we were created to be pursued. Oh come on, any girl has dreams of being in that fairy tale where Prince Charming comes to save the princess (you) after having searched the whole land or slaying the dragon. I'm not a guy, but I can guess that men want a girl who they must work to win her heart. They do not want a girl that is easy to get because she throws herself at him. Sure, the guy may respond at first if you throw yourself at him, but you may lose a lot of respect from him.
Your future man must honor your heart. To me, I feel like a great way to have him honor you is by going to your parents. Call me old fashion, but I would love my man to go to my father to ask for my hand in marriage. He will be honoring you by honoring your parents' wishes. It will also show that he is more serious about having you in his life. Having your parents become prayer partners and counselors will help build your relationship.
I think one problem that I have faced before is giving my entire heart to a guy at the beginning of the relationship. That left for nothing new and exciting in the relationship. I find that it would be more exciting if you slowly spent time discovering things about each other. Now, I don't even think I could really say "I love you" to a guy until he proposed to me.
Now to a more risky subject...giving yourself away to a guy who is not your husband.
The simple words "I love you" automatically raise the emotional bar for a girl. Giving yourself away sexually can completely ruin your heart. Being at a college where there is a dress code, I truly believe that modest is hottest. Before, getting the attention of a guy from how I dressed made me feel...flattered. I felt...noticed. Did I really want to be noticed in that way though? I mean guys are a lot more visual. When I thought they thought I was cute, they were thinking a lot more sexual than that. Do I want to be noticed like that?
Dressing modestly adds to the mysteriousness of women. Your body should be on reserve for your future husband. We do not want to cause men to stumble because we were showing off too much.
God wants to protect us so we are set-apart princesses.
I will finish this tomorrow :)
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. -Proverbs 4:23
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Set-Apart Princesses Part 1
Oh, how I have never been so nervous to write something. My hands are extremely clammy as I type this. Ladies (and men out there actually reading this), I am warning you now that this is definitely going to be my longest post BY FAR. It will be broken down into different parts, but I encourage you to read it all. I apologize if I ramble. Recently, I have been reading a lot of books, but yesterday I read Answering The Guy Questions: The Set-Apart Girl's Guide to Relating to the Opposite Sex. I was inspired to write today's post about the topics discussed in the book. As anxious as I am to post this, I am very excited that God has given this to me to speak about. Enjoy.
Ladies, have you given up on what your ideal man is? Do you feel that there are no men good enough for you out there? I, myself have felt that from growing up in the 309 area code. I have had to accept that boys are not like the fairy tales. At school I would be surrounded by sex, drugs, and well…a lot of sex. Am I just supposed to be ok with that? Guys are guys, right? Girls, are we lowering our standards in men because we have given up?
I felt like even Christian guys I knew seemed not so different from my secular guy friends. Has the church built up an idea that this is just how guys are? It kind of worries me that women feel that they should just give up on finding a Christ-built guy, and face the truth about what modern masculinity is. Yes, I know, I am a girl and will never understand a man’s sexual struggles, but I need to start realizing how I am contributing to modern masculinity.
Publicly nagging and criticizing men is not going to help them become better men. We, as women need to encourage, and pray for men to become Christ-built. There is hope girls!
I feel like society has told you, as a Christian, you can accept sex in two ways: You can either succumb to what the media portrays sex and accept it as a sinful area of your life, or you can be the good “pure” girl who has to deal with the teasing from others as you do not get to experience the pleasure of sex until you are married.
What bothers me is that God created sex to be completely different. His creation of sex is supposed to be beautiful, between one man and woman. I feel that a lot of Christians today have come to believe that that form of sex no longer exists.
Men out there have accepted that lust will always have a hold of them, so they let it. I don’t want to be looked at as a sex object or a way for self-gratification. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who is in it to see what they get out of it. I don’t want a man to have to feel like he is successful if he sleeps with me while we are together. Christian men experience just as many struggles with sex and lust as other men. Are we lowering our expectations of guys because we feel that that is all we can get?
I feel like men are all about the “hunt” of finding a girl. I mean, God created men will a natural instinct of hunting. For some men, the main goal on their “hunt” is to take away a girl’s purity. As a woman, I do not want to have to protect myself from this when I should be gaining trust in my future man. What excites me is that there ARE Christ-built men out there who want to protect my purity, rather than destroy it. Now if only I knew where to find them…
Don’t settle yourself with a man who does not deserve you. Just because he is nice and goes to church does not make him a Christ-built man. Do you really think that is God’s best for you? I mean, the Bible is all about how the Bridegroom treats His bride. Jesus laid down his life to save His beloved. Now isn’t that a type of romance you want?
Please do not freak out if you cannot find your Christ-built man. The key is to stop looking for him. You must first focus on your relationship with Christ, and Christ will be more than happy to bless you with a Christ-built man. Girls, just remember…men are not perfect so don’t expect a completely perfect man. I mean, are you perfect? Are men looking away from you because you are not perfect? The idea is not on how perfect he is…or not is…but rather his direction. Is his life in the direction towards God?
And women…we can also help to rise up Christ-built men. We can change the modern manhood with encouragement and prayer.
I'll go deeper into this tomorrow. Thanks!
Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father's house. Let the king be enthralled in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. -Psalm 45:10-11
Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father's house. Let the king be enthralled in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. -Psalm 45:10-11
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Reality Check
As I sit down to write these posts each day, I freak out about what to write about. I feel like I have been spending a lot of my day trying to come up with a good topic to talk about. Today I realized that I shouldn't be spending my day coming up with something that I want everyone to read, I need to write something that is put on my heart by God.
Every morning I wake up, get ready for the day, and sit in a chair in my hallway outside of my dorm to read my Bible. Anyone down the hallway would agree that THAT is my spot. It is my one spot where I can just relax and focus on getting closer to God without any distractions. After I read, I spend a few moments in prayer with God, preparing for what he has in store for me.
Yesterday morning, as I was praying for other people, I realized how blessed I really am. There are so many other people facing things that are a lot worse than what I go through on a day-to-day basis. Often, I experience moments of depression and loneliness, but I know that I have a great support system praying for me and lifting me up. It made me realize if I am being a good support and friend to others who are facing trials. Do I really put my heart and love into that person when they need it the most?
We are called to lift one another up and pray for others. In the moments when I get a "woe is me" attitude and expect others to feel sorry for me, I need to realize that their are people out there, some being my friends, that need a lot more love and attention.
It's funny. I feel the best when I am making someone smile or helping someone out in some way or another, but yet I often forget that and go back into my lonesome depression.
I'm really not even sure why I get depressed...I just do. I don't know why I feel like I have a terrible life...I don't...at all. I don't know why I complain about the most stupid things...it's not worth it.
I guess I'm just human.
These next few weeks are going to be rather busy for me. In these last few days, I have been at choir practices for our upcoming concerts. Tonight I have a concert..followed by more endless choir practices...followed by another concert next weekend. I found myself constantly complaining and feeling like I was wasting my time...but then I had a reality check. The reason choir exists is to be a ministry to others. God put me in choir to use my abilities to rejoice for Him. When I am singing, my heart needs to be on glorifying God, and not on complaining about how I want to change out of my choir dress or how my heels hurt so bad. Isn't that what makes me most happy...when I'm serving others? When I'm serving God?
I love it when God gives me lessons like these.
So...for this next week, I am going to work on serving and praying for others. When I focus on things like that, then it may help with never giving me a chance to get depressed about myself. I want to be a living expression of God's love.
Again, thank you for reading these. Your comments have been very encouraging.
"Break Me Down" -Tenth Avenue North
Yeah, I feel You fallin'
Like the rain against my skin
And I hear You calling
Your voice like thunder in my head
But now I am stallin'
'Cuz I'm afraid to let you in
Yeah, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down, won't You break me?
Won't You break me down? I'm breaking me down
I feel it inside me
I feel You underneath my skin
These walls could not hide me
They could not keep You from coming in
So now here You find me
Right back to where I began
Oh, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down, won't You break me down?
Break me down, oh oh, come and break me down
'Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, break me, set me free
'Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, bring me to my knees
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Yeah, won't You break me down?
And I hear You calling
Your voice like thunder in my head
But now I am stallin'
'Cuz I'm afraid to let you in
Yeah, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down, won't You break me?
Won't You break me down? I'm breaking me down
I feel it inside me
I feel You underneath my skin
These walls could not hide me
They could not keep You from coming in
So now here You find me
Right back to where I began
Oh, come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down, won't You break me down?
Break me down, oh oh, come and break me down
'Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, break me, set me free
'Cuz I need your strength to feel this weak
I need your touch to fill my need
I need your strong hands to carry me
Take me, bring me to my knees
I'm Yours tonight
I'm Yours, You can break me down
Break through these walls I hide behind
I'm Yours tonight
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Come and break me down
Yeah, won't You break me down?
Friday, December 2, 2011
I Like Who I Am Becoming
So I know this is only my third post, but I am realizing that I really love this blogging. It has helped me to be more real and honest with myself, and with God. Thank you to everyone who has been reading so far. I hope you have enjoyed reading this.
Ok...so it is only December 2nd, but Christmas is right around the corner. Pretty soon I will have to head back home for a few weeks. Actually, I may be the only one who is not looking forward to coming home so quickly. I love being at school. Yes, I love my family too, but my family is also right here in the dorm hall. I feel like when I am distant from the distractions at home, I find my chance to get closer to God. I guess I must realize that God is giving me a chance to grow and serve him back at home too.
Don't get me wrong, I do love being home for the holidays. Christmas truly is the most wonderful time of the year. God has been really changing me these last few weeks. Romans 12:1 speaks about being a living sacrifice to God. How awesome is it to demonstrate your love and devotion to God by living it out each day? I hope to go home and show my upmost love and compassion for others, for that is how I can truly serve the Lord. This should really be something that I start now. Something I can do as soon as I walk out of my dorm room.
I have definitely found that there is a large difference between being happy, and being joyous. Oh, joyous. I just love that word!
There are so many earthly things or people that make me happy, but at the end of the day, I am not complete. The happiness will only go so far. I crave more, but cannot get it so easily. With having joy, it is not only an emotion...but rather a lifestyle or attitude. When I go to God, I experience a whole new level of happiness...joy. It's almost as if it is an attitude or choice by the heart. The desire of wanting ME to feel good changes to the desire of wanting to glorify God...and in that....I feel good. I get an inner peace that shows deep inside and outside of me.
I now crave reading my Bible. I crave worshipping my God. I crave discussing my love for Christ with others. I crave showing my love for Christ with others. I crave God. Only He can give me my whole satisfaction.
I'm a young woman. I still have a lot in store for me. God is growing with me more and more each day. I'm becoming a whole new me...and I like it.
"Living Rain" -Parachute Band
We Your people come
In desperate need to You we run
Called by Your great name
With humble hearts we seek Your ways
We believe in faith
Your promises will never break
Turn from wicked ways
To live as Christ for all our days
Oh God high up in heaven
Won't You heal our land
Living rain, fall again
Over my life over my land
Living rain wash my heart again
Open wide, heaven skies
Over my street oh Spirit reside
Living rain flood my life again
Come back, back to your first love
Back to your first love
Back to the Cross
Come back, back to your first love
Back to your first love
At the foot of the Cross
In desperate need to You we run
Called by Your great name
With humble hearts we seek Your ways
We believe in faith
Your promises will never break
Turn from wicked ways
To live as Christ for all our days
Oh God high up in heaven
Won't You heal our land
Living rain, fall again
Over my life over my land
Living rain wash my heart again
Open wide, heaven skies
Over my street oh Spirit reside
Living rain flood my life again
Come back, back to your first love
Back to your first love
Back to the Cross
Come back, back to your first love
Back to your first love
At the foot of the Cross
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