Set-Apart Princesses Part 1

Oh, how I have never been so nervous to write something.  My hands are extremely clammy as I type this.  Ladies (and men out there actually reading this), I am warning you now that this is definitely going to be my longest post BY FAR.  It will be broken down into different parts, but I encourage you to read it all.  I apologize if I ramble.  Recently, I have been reading a lot of books, but yesterday I read Answering The Guy Questions: The Set-Apart Girl's Guide to Relating to the Opposite Sex.  I was inspired to write today's post about the topics discussed in the book.  As anxious as I am to post this, I am very excited that God has given this to me to speak about.  Enjoy.

Ladies, have you given up on what your ideal man is?  Do you feel that there are no men good enough for you out there?  I, myself have felt that from growing up in the 309 area code.  I have had to accept that boys are not like the fairy tales.  At school I would be surrounded by sex, drugs, and well…a lot of sex.  Am I just supposed to be ok with that?  Guys are guys, right?  Girls, are we lowering our standards in men because we have given up? 

I felt like even Christian guys I knew seemed not so different from my secular guy friends.  Has the church built up an idea that this is just how guys are?  It kind of worries me that women feel that they should just give up on finding a Christ-built guy, and face the truth about what modern masculinity is.  Yes, I know, I am a girl and will never understand a man’s sexual struggles, but I need to start realizing how I am contributing to modern masculinity.

Publicly nagging and criticizing men is not going to help them become better men.  We, as women need to encourage, and pray for men to become Christ-built.  There is hope girls! 

I feel like society has told you, as a Christian, you can accept sex in two ways: You can either succumb to what the media portrays sex and accept it as a sinful area of your life, or you can be the good “pure” girl who has to deal with the teasing from others as you do not get to experience the pleasure of sex until you are married. 

What bothers me is that God created sex to be completely different.  His creation of sex is supposed to be beautiful, between one man and woman.  I feel that a lot of Christians today have come to believe that that form of sex no longer exists. 

Men out there have accepted that lust will always have a hold of them, so they let it.  I don’t want to be looked at as a sex object or a way for self-gratification.  I don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy who is in it to see what they get out of it.  I don’t want a man to have to feel like he is successful if he sleeps with me while we are together.  Christian men experience just as many struggles with sex and lust as other men.  Are we lowering our expectations of guys because we feel that that is all we can get? 

I feel like men are all about the “hunt” of finding a girl.  I mean, God created men will a natural instinct of hunting.  For some men, the main goal on their “hunt” is to take away a girl’s purity.  As a woman, I do not want to have to protect myself from this when I should be gaining trust in my future man.  What excites me is that there ARE Christ-built men out there who want to protect my purity, rather than destroy it.  Now if only I knew where to find them…

Don’t settle yourself with a man who does not deserve you.  Just because he is nice and goes to church does not make him a Christ-built man.  Do you really think that is God’s best for you?  I mean, the Bible is all about how the Bridegroom treats His bride.  Jesus laid down his life to save His beloved.  Now isn’t that a type of romance you want?

Please do not freak out if you cannot find your Christ-built man.  The key is to stop looking for him.  You must first focus on your relationship with Christ, and Christ will be more than happy to bless you with a Christ-built man.  Girls, just remember…men are not perfect so don’t expect a completely perfect man.  I mean, are you perfect?  Are men looking away from you because you are not perfect?  The idea is not on how perfect he is…or not is…but rather his direction.  Is his life in the direction towards God?

And women…we can also help to rise up Christ-built men.  We can change the modern manhood with encouragement and prayer.  

I'll go deeper into this tomorrow. Thanks!



Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father's house.  Let the king be enthralled in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. -Psalm 45:10-11