Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try to stick with God, something always tries to pull you down? Well...that's the devil for you. Although it may seem like nothing is going right, God is providing this opportunity to test your faith and grow with Him.
I feel like that is what God is doing to me now. I cannot believe that I have been writing these for a whole month now. Through this month, it has been an up and down roller coaster with my walk with Christ. Although there have been more ups than downs, there have been things the devil has put in my way to try and pull me away from who I am becoming.
This whole experience being home for winter break has been difficult. People I thought I trusted turned their backs on me and betrayed me. I feel so confused and hurt. Why me? Why do they choose to just pick on me? They do not even know how they are hurting me, nor do I think they care.
It stinks knowing all of this drama has occurred while I've been home. I have really been trying to not let this whole situation get me down. I have also found who my true friends are, and that has been a real blessing.
When someone is breaking me down verbally and through their actions, I find it so hard to not want to fire back at them. I realized though that the best situation is to be the bigger person, and move on. It has been difficult to do that because I am trying to be an example to God, but I just keep getting hurt.
After thinking about it, Jesus faced persecution. The devil will try and bring me down by others, but it is also a great opportunity to stand up for my beliefs and grow from it.
I am really trying to forgive the people that hurt me. When I get so worked up and upset about what they did, I now try to stop and pray for them. Do I really pray about things as much as I think about them? It has been a great way to soften my heart.
God is by my side, and He has provided so many people for support. I am really trying to handle the situation as mature as possible. If anything, the people that hurt me may eventually realize what they did and how well I handled it. Who knows though...they may never fully apologize for what they did. All I can do is forgive them and get my heart right with God.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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